Great Crapper Comics, Day Five: Winners!

Okay, the truth is that these are all great books and deserve some time and attention, and it doesn't matter worth the lick of a donkey's dick which ones I give the made-up awards to.

I mean, come on. All of these entertained the shit out of me.

Now let's have a look at the winners! We had 43 incredible nominees in four stellar categories of judgment; who had the highest overall performance?!

I'd have to go with a Top Five format.

Preacher
It takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. Once you've read the whole thing, Preacher can be picked up at any point in the series and enjoyed for any period of time. It's got a perfect 10 out of 10 score for attitude, obviously, and while the format isn't anything special, I take no points off for being normal - besides which, as I mentioned before, each trade has a sort of "theme" to it, so you can tailor your read to your mood. And as for longevity, nothing's got it beat, not in my library. One of the best series ever, and really top-notch toilet reading.

Hard Boiled
Frank Miller stops pretending he wants to write anything except stuff that's really cool. Geof Darrow combines violence porn with porn porn to magnificently detailed effect. It's printed oversized without being too unwieldy to hold while you're havin' a squat. And the story doesn't make sense (or matter) anyway so you can pick any random point and start reading. Fuckin' brilliant.

The Goon
Dude, if you're not reading this, you suck. Plus, Goon will beat you. Eric Powell is a genius and the Eisner's aren't gonna go to anybody else until the rest of these guys put in the same kind of muscle and know-how.

Arsenic Lullaby
Found more of this on the way in November's Previews text file. After reading my first ever review here at Quality Control, you know how excited that means I am. Plenty of irreverent attitude, one-to-three page strips that make modular reading a snap, excellent re-readability and a vibe that makes you feel perfectly comfortable just leaving the thing on top of the toilet when you leave make this a great standby.

Calvin And Hobbes
A co-worked asked me yesterday over beers at The Bitter End, "Have you ever read Calvin And Hobbes?" I looked at him like he was insane. Have I ever taken a breath of air? Have I ever eaten a sandwich? Jesus Christ, of course I've read Calvin And Hobbes! Again, perfect scores in every category: Calvin's got more attitude in his hair than most people I've ever met put together. The strips are immensely re-readable, due in some part to the wealth of material available. The Complete edition coming out in October will probably be too big and fancy to read on the can, but the other collections are perfect and you can find 'em dirt-fuckin'-cheap with just a cursory internet search.

But like I said, this is all great stuff, and another testament to the versatility and lasting value of the comics medium. There is no other medium that fits with the intimate act of bowel-moving so well. I love comics and I love to poop, and that they fit together like puzzle pieces is one of the great joys in my life.

No, that's not gross. You should really be more mature.


There's a lot I need to fit in to next week's posts. All kinds of great stuff going on, fantastic new books coming out and cool stuff on the horizon, great food I've been eating this week and a general surplus of good fortune and relief on my end. I hope life's been treating you all as well, and I'll see you on Monday. Cheers.